Today hasnt been a very good day emotionally for me, have some things in my life that are happening that are challenging but its nothing i cant handle. I promise to blog about that as soon as i have more information if you will. Theres one thing that has tremendously bothered me today, and that is the hour conversation i had with my grandmother. I talk to my grandma at least once a week and if life events happen that make me busy then its about every other week, I make sure that I stay in contact with her as much as possible. Over the last few months I have shared concerns with her over the behavior of my sister, because i honestly dont know how to make her understand the things she is doing isnt right. I have never once talked down about my sister and i have been 100% honest in everything that i have told my grandmother about her actions. The things she has done and is doing is nothing to be proud of and i sure wouldnt want to admit to any of it but for the sake of my own being and happiness i know that i would need to.

My grandmother talked to my sister about the things that i told her and my sister flat out refused any of it was true, and said i had made up all the things that i said. Why on earth would i make up things that she has done just to look like a dumbass infront of everyone? and the worst part is my other sisters and my mom know that the things that i have said are 100% true. So i was called a liar today, i am many many things but i am not a liar. I spent an hour on the phone with her getting absolutley nowhere except more and more upset. I honestly dont understand this woman at all, who i also told her something else about my cousin and she didnt believe it til she saw it on her facebook page, really why on earth would i lie. I dont get it!!!!!?????

My grandmother told me that I will regret this when i am an old lady and i dont have my family. 1. wrong i will not because i didnt do anything but tell the absolute truth. 2. regret lemme just tell you how i percieve this word.

Regret-  to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.)

"Never regret something you have done because at one point in time it was exactly what you wanted" This quote right here sums it up, you chose to do the things in your life, if you dont want to say later on...Oh i regret not going to college.....then go to college. Change, learn from the mistake,  yes its ok to have uneasy feelings about it but that experience has made you who are today, had you not made that choice you wouldnt have half the knowledge, or know half the people you do today. Saying you regret some part of your life is like you saying you are regretting living. Its part of lifes experiences. Make the same choice again just choose the outcome this time, change what you wish you would have done. thats all regret is wishing that you could change a situation. I wouldnt change a thing in my life because i chose for it to be this way with every thing that i have done my life is the way it is because of the choices i chose to make or chose not to make. In the end if i wanted to do something then i better get off my ass and do that thing before its too late.

I didnt think that i would blog twice in one day but i am really just upset about it. I am upset that family, love, and friendship is a 2 way street and the one person who is out there is trying is slamming into a brick wall. Only so many times will someone want to hit that brick wall before they say thats it I AM DONE....you can not try and try and try and keep getting nothing in return. it is a waste of your time and a waste of your emotions being upset all the time. It is not healthy!!! I cant live my life  wondering oh if i choose this decision is my family going to be upset, i have to choose to make decisions based on how i am living my life. it is my life, yes i can take into account how you feel but your not going to be the basis of my decisions, because your not living my life i am.

I cant take the crap this has caused anymore. i dont think that my heart can allow it! if that means being cut off from certain people in my family then so be it! i cant take the stress.

i hope that with a little meditation i can calm down and find peace withing myself.  Carpe Diem

I actually started this blog yesterday, but unforseen events happened and i had to tend to life. :) it happens LOL

9/1 ----Today kinda seemed to seal the deal that alot of the people i actually know have a penchant for drama than the real things in life. I asked an honest, thought provoking question to see how many of the people i know would actually take the time to sit down, or just take a moment to think about what those questions mean to them. I wasnt asking for the world, i was asking for a moment inside their heads to see their thought process. I guess for some if it isnt drama, whether fueling it, or creating it they want no part of it and like i said in a previous blog i have no time in my life for negativity. I have to for me, my health and my piece of mind diminish negativity out of my life as much as possible, and today just kind of showed me how i need to start doing that.

I have honestly been doing alot of soul searching, to find out what i want in life, to see who i am deep down inside. Ive asked myself many a thought provoking questions, some i can find the answer to right away and some i just seem to be lost to completley. For the ones that i am lost to i intend to find an answer, to see if theres any way for me to understand completley the things ive searched inside for. Jesse Brisendine has been an amazing person to come into my life through his blogs, his video blogs and his words of wisdom, he is the reason i have decided to change my life in to something i want, without excuses anymore!! "Be the change you wish to see in the world" is a very deep and meaninful sentence if you sit and think. So my many thanks to Jesse! <3

9/2-----I participated in the sunrise/sunset day yesterday with 1 year/1,000 challenge, it was truly amazing to see the sunrises and sunsets from around the world and to see people just taking a few moments out of their day to just see the beauty. I notice alot of people have forgotten the beauty in even the simplest things, people have come to see the down side in everything, but they refuse to change. Dont like your job, quit and find something your passionate about, not happy in your relationships, find a way to make them positive or walk away.....change has to begin with you and only you. "Be the change you wish to see in the world"  Sit down and think about that sentence, give it some actual thought and write down the changes that come to mind, now set in motion to make those changes. We all cant make a huge impact on things, but one by one we can sure try!!!! Just think if we all actually put forth our abilities what kind of change we could envoke in other people??? its like the wave at a baseball game, one person starts it and soon thousands follow!! It would be AMAZING!

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible. Carpe Diem!

Negativity

I open my facebook this morning and i see post after post of negative things, whether it was complaining of a case of the mondays, or of a little thing that didnt go right it was one person after another. I feel like i dont have time in my life for negativity, it becomes annoying when its the same people over and over again. I believe that if a situation can be changed then we should apply ourselves to making the change. "be the change you want to see in the world" I can only try to help a person be positive, but they have to first want it within themselves.

Ive been thinking alot about ways to honor the 10 year anniversary of 9-11, most events are taking place in major cities like NY, LA and such. No means to get there means i need to research local events taking place. 9-11 was a tragedy that touched many lives, we all know someone whose joined the fight against terrorism, we all know someone whose been deployed, someone personally or know of someone whose lost a life. I figure since we are honoring 9-11 victims, families, and friends why not honor those who serve our country. I plan on finding a way to be a pen pal to a military member serving overseas, enlisting my friends and family to donate supplies of comfort to these men and women. What better way to show our troops our support and love?

So there is my first 2 things i plan on doing on my challenge..#CarpeDiem

I have been reading a blog written by Jesse Brisendine, he has started his own 1 year 1000 challenge. For one year he challenges himself to fullfill umique experiences, thing or goals. I think that is a great way to challenge yourself to do things you never thought you could. Jesse's blog is very positive and gives an uplifting message. I honestly found myself reading his blog into the wee hours of the night, and crying when he told some of his experiences.

So with that i have decided to compile a list of things i want to accomplish in life and live out doing those things. To do things for the good of humanity, to reach out and let my ripple effect be as positive as possible. My first thing is my birthday is June 15, jesse had a close friend commit suicide June 15, 2009, jesse feels had his friend gabe felt his life was worth more he would possibly chose to not end his life. So my mission is to show self worth to as many people as i can, to have a positive ripple effect on peoples lives. Life is all about living to the fullest, even with the bad life is still worth living.

Im going to leave it at that tonight, and i will start to make my list and put my thoughts into words for you all to read, if you so choose. Love to all!